Sunday, January 28, 2007

Purpose...


I feel like everything in the past couple of weeks has just clicked. Like I've finally heard what God has been saying, no SCREAMING at me for years. I feel like my life has finally been given a purpose. The vision for my life is to lose it and to lose in IDP camps in Uganda. God has been bringing this up within me for years now and I just can't ingnore it. Africa has become a trend these days, a politically correct way for the world to think beyong its own backyard and start thinking about what lies beyond. What happens when the trend ends? Well, somethings in Africa may be changed but in general that means alot of people will walk away from what they once stood for. For me that isn't the case, I will still be taking a stand for Uganda when very little are. This is something that is woven into my very core. Every morning I wake up and I realize just how comfy life has become. I am in a postion were I can't ignore this any longer.


**BAAAA, what am I supposed to do? Why won't You let me go to Africa. Why God, why? Why do all of my efforts prove worthless and nothing pans out? How am I supposed to do this? Would you just show me how I am supooed to get there? You know the desires of my heart Lord, you have put them there. What am I supposed to do with them? Please help...**

Friday, January 26, 2007

Night Commute

Join the night commute, there is one happening in your area. Follow the link to sign up.
Take one laying down on April 28th 2007.

http://www.invisiblechildren.com/theMovement/displaceMe/

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Sadness...

Well it is now time for me to join the thousands of people that have failed their road test. That is right folks, before you is a 20 year old who still needs a ride from her parents everywhere she goes. It is pretty frustrating. I really thought that I had a shot. I guess I'll have to wait and try again. Hopefully next time I will pass. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I'm just tired of this. My examiner said that everything was great and that I am a great driver but because I hesitated turning left at a VERY BUSY intersection I failed. I guess I learned my lesson, it just doesn't seem fair. Maybe next time................

Sunday, January 21, 2007

TRI



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Please visit www.invisiblechildren.com


Children are not soldiers, nor should they be made mothers. The war in Uganda must end. Joseph Kony's reign of terror must not go by silently. Take action...

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Random dis-connectedness


As I lay here awake...I can't help but think. Think about life and God and art and music and pretty much everything else. I can't help but think about the way that life makes me feel, about how God makes me feel and art and music and pretty much everything else. For the past couple of months I've felt oppressed. Not an on the surface oppression, but a just beneath the surface oppression. I've been asking a lot of the hard questions lately, but not out loud. Never out loud, not even the smallest trace of a breath or even a whisper. Afraid that somehow my insecurity will over take me, and this vulnerability will take control. That somehow I will lose and these questions and thoughts won't stop. I feel like a kid who has been told to clean her room and instead of putting things away I've stashed them in the closet and now it's inspection time and my closet is threatening to betray me with every breath I take. I've really been questioning what it is to live as a Christian and how all of that fits into this world- or should the world fit into my living as Christian? I'm beginning to wonder if how I've been living and how we all have been living is exactly like Christ intended us to live. Recently I'm beginning to think that the opposite is true. I think that we have mashed up all of our human expectations and ideals and have projected them onto a God that stands for something different than what we claim. What is a Christian....I haven't the faintest idea and yet I stand before the world and tell them that I am one. I feel squished on all sides and strangely enough not from the world but from the limits that seem to be put on my title as a Christian. It's like I've traded everything I have for this. In a sense that is true, I have traded my life, my dreams, hopes and choices to follow my God but I didn't do it for a simple existence I did it for a life. Christ came so that I could have life in abundance and as I look around I don't see anyone in my circle of fellow Christians living life to the point of abundance or even making plans of doing so. All I see is a bunch of people sitting around with their noses in their Bibles keeping to the letter of the Law. I find myself running in the other direction. I am faced daily with the stereotype that as a Christian girl I am just waiting around for my husband instead of living and dreaming. Everywhere I look I am asked, "So are you a Bible-thumper?" (Would someone please explain to me what this is!!) And to tell the truth, I haven't cracked the sucker in a good couple of months.
I haven't written in my prayer journal since September 30th. There are moments in my life where I am so angry that my language could make a sailor blush. I drink, despite my mother's wishes. I've come to think, even though in no way do I condone this, that women should have a choice to have an abortion or not. I don't think that we should hold non-Christians to Christian standards no matter what they do. I don't think that Christians should hold governmental office. I agree with my sister when she says that all Christians have days where they are atheists. I think that we should live faith-based lives instead of Scripture-based lives. I can't stand the us VS. them mentality of Christianity. I think that if Satan were to walk on earth he would be the most atractive person you would have ever met and if you were to pass Jesus on the street you would have to double-take to make sure it really was Him. I think He is much different then we think. My best friend from high school turned out to be gay and I say love on him just like before and stop trying to scare him into believing in God. I think that drug addicts can be Christians and can possess more love for people that either you or I could. Every time I join my co-workers for a smoke break I am tempted to ask for a cigarette. Most of my music is not from Christian artists, infact some songs even have a few swears in them. I have struggled with depression and self-mutilation. I am 20 and I am single. There is still a sting from what happened in my last relationship and I'm not really motivated to date anyone. I don't want kids. I want to live in the middle of the city surrounded by artists and people who have different beliefs than I do. I get jealous. I get angry. I get sad, sometimes for days. Every time I see an unusual bright light in the night sky I find myself praying that it is my savior coming to take me home. I think that wonder is worship and, as romantic as it sounds, wonder is a key component to having a relationship with God. Joshua Harris makes me angry. I think that Kandinsky was right when he said that abstract paintings could reflect a heart of worship just as much as traditional iconographical paintings can. And I'm not really sure "Jesus loves you" is the answer to everything. Just because I’m saved doesn’t mean I have the right to judge. I think that more of life is lived in the gray areas than in the black and white.
Does this mean that I fail as a Christian? Really what do you think? Is your first impression “Wow, Dara, that is sad when did you fall away from your faith?”. Honestly is it? I'm not writing this to shock you. I'm just telling you where I stand. Please, if I am so wrong let me know and show me which direction I should walk in. I'm just laying my life on the line and telling you where I stand. It’s just that I am constantly reminded of my humanness and my need to acknowledge that. I’m just so tired of fake Christians and this over simplifying of life that comes along with our fear of questioning. I am happy, I really am. I love my God and I love my life and things are better than they have ever been but these questions and thoughts just keep gnawing at my soul. I’m just being real here people. If you feel the need to pray for me out of pity- go ahead, I could use prayer and so can you, it’s for everybody and all the time. Things with God are amazing. I’m really laying everything down before him, including all of this. I think that if you are honest enough with yourself you might find the same. Just pondering.
Thanks for listening.

Monday, January 08, 2007

SCHOOL


Here I sit. At school. HAving just bought my books. I must confess that I am a little nervous and part of me is wondering what I am doing here. But I can tell that it will be a good challenge. I have my first class in about 45 minutes and I am kind of scared. I've never taken a hands-on art class before.
**Lord, please help me. Guide me and calm my nerves. Don't let me be intimidated or scared. Let me know that I am here in your arms. I love you.**

Sunday, January 07, 2007

School tomorrow!!


This is my latest work. The excitement for school just bubbled over!! YAY. I have school tomorrow. I finally know where I want to go and what I want to do, and I'm doing it. I'm so excited for this. Good luck to all of you either starting school or returning. I hope that your semester is and exciting as I know that mine is going to be!!

Love you all...

Friday!!

On Friday, after I got off of work my brother and I made a day of it. Here it is in pictures...



We took the train into Vancouver.





Here are our tickets to Science World to see the Body Worlds exhibit and the Omnimax film. It was awesome!!







Afterwards we ate lunch at Red Robin and we were soooooooooooooo full!!






Ofcourse wehad to stop at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate factory for dessert!





There was a DVD sale at HMV on Robson, so I bought two more to add to my collection.





In gas town I found a wonderful art store/gallery. I bought this book for cheap and added it to my library.





We were on the skytrain when the roof of BC place stadium collapsed. Oh my!!






At the end of the day, when we were full and had gotten over the shock of what happened to BC place stadium we hopped on the train and headed back home.






I guess al the excitement just wore Pietr out! Have a good nap Piet!!


Exciting, eh?

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year!

Well, happy 2007. I hope that 2006 delivered on it's promise for life and love and I hope that 2007 continues to do the same. Last night showed me just how unpredictable life can be. I had plans to ring in the new years and there were so many options. I was going to be with my friends and ring in the new year in a new and independant way. I was so stoked. Then at 7:30, got a call from a co-worker saying that she was sick and needed me to cover her shift. Half-asleep, I agreed. Once I woke up, however, I wanted to call her back and tell her to shove it and find someone else. I didn't, and be grudgingly I went into work. At 11:30, I looked at the cook and she was grinning ear to ear and was gathering pots from the back to bang at midnight. Okay, maybe this new year won't suck like I thought it would. At midnight, standing outside in the cold, we rung in the new year. Myself, my cook, her finacee and our group of regulars. It really was a celebration. As the new year came upon us, I was filled with an overwhelming sense that God is good and that I am where I am meant to be. I seem to have found myself, or rather God has seemed to show me who I am. A human, nothing more and nothing less, and that there at Rocko's is my family, as dysfunctional and messed up as they are. Each soul unique, and beautiful, fashioned by the hands of a loving and merciful God. I am called there. That is my mission field, even if I don't change a single soul and no one even knows my name, I will have shed light where none was present. I am constantly reminded that these are the people that my God came to walk with, heal and eventually die for. And I am thankful for them all.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Thursday, December 28, 2006

well, good morning and merry christmas. I just want to share that God is good--I can't begin to tell you why, or how, or if I even really truly comprehend this statement. All that I know is He is. Really. If you search you will find it to be true...
That is all.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Plans for January

Well, it's official. I am registered at UCFV for the winter semester. After really struggling with this and feeling lost and confused I have made up my mind. I'm sorry if I have let you down by not attending CBC, but I really feel in my heart that UCFV is where I am supposed to be. The thing is that I was hiding and fear was what was holding me back. I was afraid of my art and my ability to create it. You see, I have been living in constant fear of failing, as a person, failing my friends and failing my God. Life is too short to live in fear and hide. God keeps calling me ato a purpose larger than myself and it is selfish to do my own thing even when it is under the guise of Bible College. I felt like I had to follow my friends to keep them and remain accepted by them. But I know better than that, I know that isn't true. I need to glorify God and I'm not if i'm squandering talent and prentending to be happy. Sorry about the whirlwind...it has been an emotional roller coaster for me too. But now I'm settled, still scared but settled. I think that life will be good.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

AHHHHHH

So overwhelmed lately!! Here is where I sit. I am registered for classes at CBC. I'm all pumped and excited for Bible College and my classes as well as seeing more of my two best friends (one of them is you Nicole). However, feel this deep sadness and loss for my art and for everything that I have worked for over the last 5 years. My dilemma, I am tired of wasting time, I want school done with so that I can move out, travel, have a life outside if the 8 dollars an hour restriction that I find myself. I don't know what to do. My heart longs to learn about my creator and the book that is left for us to find comfort and guidance in, but I also long for my art, my dreams of seeing my stuff in a gallery one day. Niether of these can be ignored. CBC, although it is a great institution, will never be able to give me an accredited degree and i will have to take out student loans and be massively in debt by the time that I am 25. My art path will give me a career, a job and at half the cost, as well as the opportunity to travel and do more schooling.
HELP!!!! God is being so silent!!
AHHHHHHHHH.......

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Why I hate money...

Just the other night I was working. It was a very slow night, hardly a soul between midnight and five am. We had the occasional mid-week after bar partier but that was about it. A man came in toting a huge bag, filled with all of his earthly belongings. As he sat and took off his coat I noticed the dirt that rolled off of him and fell to the floor. Not assuming much I walked over and offered him some coffee, he accepted and I poured him a mug. "Boy I can't tell you how greatful I am for a hot drink on such a cold night", he commented. Offering a lame reply I grabbed my order pad and my pen. He looked at the menu and ordered a side of fries. I asked him if he wanted gravy or mayo to dip them in. He told me that he couldn't afford any and I politely took his menu and posted his order. As I waited for the order my boss filled me in on this particular customer. She told me that he used to be a regular, coming quite often with his wife and kids to have a great big family feast, and when you eat at Rocko's you don't get anything but. One time he came in by himself and had said that the Misses had kicked him out and that he wasn't allowed to see the kids anymore. Eventually he stopped coming all together and dropped out of mind. "I guess he lost everything in that divorce", my boss said, "Even his home". After savouring his fries and having a refill of his coffee he fell asleep. I wasn't really sure what to do, I was told that I should kick people out if they are just lingering or if they are trying to use the diner as a shelter. But something within me just filled with compassion for this man so I let him sleep. He slept for hours. Waking up every so often just to look around and make sure that he wasn't in the way of anything that I needed to do. Each time he woke up he would meet my gaze with a expression of joy and gratitude that he wasn't huddled in some back alley trying to sleep in the cold and wet. Around the time that I was finishing my shift, he came to the counter to pay. He paid for his fries and coffee and left me a tip. A twoonie. I stood there looking at the money in my hand as all of the world passed by. I couldn't believe it. I had been tipped by a homeless man...that is generosity right there. In the palm of my hand I held his ticket to a warm coffee or a shower, maybe even a meal. I wanted desprately to give it back to him. To tell him to keep it, but before I could he was gone. As I drove home I couldn't help but feel a sense of anger course through my blood. That twoonie was what separated me from him, that is all it takes in this world. He would be looked down on, stepped over and cast aside simply because he didn't have any money. And I would be respected, wanted, and loved by this world because I had some. I couldn't believe it. Nothing made me different from this man except the fact that I make 8 dollars an hour and he makes whatever he can pan handling. That sucks. I hate how materialistic we are and I hate how part of me just assumes that there is something wrong with people who live in the streets. How many times have I claimed God's love and stepped over someone huddled on the street? How often have I just averted my eyes and pretended I didn't see them? That makes me sick. I hate money because on some level it controls everyone. I just really hate it...
Communism is looking pretty good right now..

**Lord Jesus watch over that man and keep him safe. Teach me to love and teach me that all I have is yours. I can't live in two camps, God, teach me to live in yours. Everything that I have kept for myself is yours. Take my finances and show me how to be a steward. Take me on this journey and lead me step by step. I am yours.**

Sunday, November 19, 2006

this morning...

At one thirty in the morning he stepped out of the cold and into the diner. Putting the mop bucket back in to it's pail I offered a cheery hello and grabbed a mug and a coffee pot. "Can I start you off with some coffee this morning, sir?" I asked placing a spoon and a napkin in front of him. "Yes please Darlin'", he replied. "Would you like to see a menu as well?" I asked as I poured his coffee. "That would be great", he smiled at me. It was one of those smiles that seem to betray your plans to keep your pain a secret and it seemed to tug at the very core of my being. I passed him a menu and told him to take his time, he was the only one in the diner. Sipping from his hot mug he began to peruse the menu. Before long I learned that his dad had passed away not eight months ago and that his dad was a baker and had had baked the cake for his wedding. Which lead to the real reason he was here. He was single again and needed a warm place to cure the sting of loneliness this particular cold night had brought. He talked about how happy he and his wife once were and the gift of life that their love had conceived and how he wished that everything could just go back to the way that it was. He spoke of his mistakes that caused the train wreck his marriage was rapidly becoming. He and his wife sought counselling and started to attend Church. It was an uphill fight, for every step forward they seemed to take two steps back. He thought they were on their way to success. One time during a counselling session he confessed to looking at pornography and smoking marijuana. Shortly after his wife filed for divorce, she couldn't handle that she had married a man who would do this. His wife told her pastor and he was shunned from that community and kicked out of his house. While I understand his wife's horror and how she felt that all the trust that she had given lay smashed on the floor, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Here was a man who had honestly tried to put his life back together and there he sat, kicked to the curb by loved ones and those he trusted.
As he sat with his eyes closed, body swaying to the sounds of country music lamenting over lost relationships I couldn't help but hope that my God, the God of comfort, the God of Heaven and earth was bending His ear to this broken man's silent prayer. Like a wave crashing on the shore a sense of awe came over me. Had Jesus been at that diner this is the man that he would have been sitting across from. Although he had been rejected by everyone, even those who claim to follow Jesus, this was it right in front of me, this was who Jesus had come to die for.
Clearing his dishes I began to think "Am I really all that different?". I too have struggled with sin, been rejected from my peers and been broken to the core. But How had I embraced my brokenness? Had I been comforted by the fact that that God alone can sustain me, that I can do nothing on my own? Or had I just simply swept it under the rug, like I do most things, and pretend that it isn't there. Maybe I am still clinging on the fact that if I deny it long enough it will just go away. And I started to wonder that maybe pretending that I am not broken is what is keeping God at a distance. Psalm 34:18 says "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted". So here I am, declaring that I too am broken and that Jesus' sacrifice is all that can heal me. I may never be healed, because nothing on this earth can bring me healing. Nothing but the love of a savior, who thousands of years ago bore a crown of thorns that were meant for me. But I leave this post with a sense of peace, knowing that God is a little bit closer and that I can be whole and broken all at the same time. My life is yours...Sweet Jesus.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Isaiah 53

Who believes what we've heard and seen? Who would have thought God's saving power would look like this?
The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed.
We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost.
We've all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong,
on him, on him.

He was beaten, he was tortured,
but he didn't say a word.
Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered
and like a sheep being sheared,
he took it all in silence.
Justice miscarried, and he was led off—
and did anyone really know what was happening?
He died without a thought for his own welfare,
beaten bloody for the sins of my people.
They buried him with the wicked,
threw him in a grave with a rich man,
Even though he'd never hurt a soul
or said one word that wasn't true.

Still, it's what God had in mind all along,
to crush him with pain.
The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin
so that he'd see life come from it—life, life, and more life.
And God's plan will deeply prosper through him.

Out of that terrible travail of soul,
he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it.
Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant,
will make many "righteous ones,"
as he himself carries the burden of their sins.
Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly—
the best of everything, the highest honors—
Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch,
because he embraced the company of the lowest.
He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many,
he took up the cause of all the black sheep.


**Praise be to you Father, you are the author and perfector of life itself!! Please answer my cry, bend your ear to me and shape me me to see and hear you. All this I lay at your feet. Thank you for the sacrifice of your son and for all that you do for me everyday. Prepare me for what is to come. My life is yours, hear my cry and be gracious to me. Show me the way that I must live and show me to be grateful no matter the blessing!! I love you Lord, here at your feet I await your presence.**

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Another Day, A Better Place

O Lord, You know I love You
That I’d never cause You pain
That I’ll follow You forever
Through hell, through death, through shame
Yes, I’ve made my resolution
To always stand up tall
But the rooster crowed this evening
And night began to fall
And I knew that I’d been called out

So hold me now when only hopelessness is found
And love me when my brokenness is all around
Kiss me in the dead of night, the lonely ache
And tell me now that I will see another day,
A better place

O You know I didn’t mean to
That I am crying for Your pain
That I don’t deserve to follow
I deserve Your scorn, Your shame
But I look across the courtyard
And I’m struck full by Your gaze
And I know what You are saying
You know me deeply in this place
And You adore me just the same

---By Simon Hoskyn

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Life

This week I am reminded of the fragility and delicacy of life. On Thursday we had to have one of our horses put down. He was sick and dying. It all came quite suddenly with a stomach ache and lead to a twisted intestine which left all of the toxins in his body nowhere to go but back into his blood stream. It was very sad. Though I had never ridden him and wasn't there when the vet came, I cried as I watched them drag his carcass into the back of a non-descript truck and drive him away. A sad sight for all of us who looked on, not even a girls night out with martinis could cure the sting of what had happened that day. This probably seems a little bit dramatic for you, and looking back it seems a little drawn out and dramatic for myself but this is the first time that I have dealt with the death of an animal that I watched deteriorate. "It's just a horse", is what you are probably thinking, but to me it is more than that.It reminds me that life is incredibly fragile, and is something that should not be taken lightly. I spend too much of my time trying to be someone I'm not that when things go bad I can't even rely on myself to be strong. Why am I so afraid to be myself? I have wasted the past 20 years (Oh my gosh, 20 years--- that is two decades!!) trying to meet someone else's expectations and fashioning myself after what they want. RIDICULOUS!! INSANITY!! So today, I start anew. I am going to be who I am and who God is shaping me to be. I don't what to be forty and realize that I am so far from who I am that I can't function. I'm going to do my own thing while I serve this untameable God of mine. I'm going to throw caution to the wind and know that God will provide, wherever I am. I'm excited. Out from the shadows I come. I'm throwing off this mask and if you don't like it, don't watch--- I'm sorry but I can't stay squished in your box forever. If you do like it, join me and watch because my God is going to do something amazing!!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

well, I guess this is the part where I come up with something extraordinary...sorry, but nothing comes to mind. I spent the day vacuumming (or however you spell that!!). First it was the cabins, then the bunk house. I am leaving here in less than a week and although I am excited to have a life again and to see my family and friends, I'm a little nervous. Nervous about a job and basically everything that comes along with reality. Oh well. Time to bite the bullet, I guess. well, sorry folks that is all I got (for now)...

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Well, I have been living in my tower for 21 days and all is well. I love my tower. Next time I will try and post some pictures of my room on the toppest top part of my tower. My room is quite quaint. Filled with pictures and a psychadelic duvet cover that is on loan from my brother. I often think of a fairy tale when I walk up those steps. I like to stand on my balcony and think of Rapunzel, except that I haven't much hair and sometimes after a hard day of cleaning toilets and showers I think of Cinderella. Don't ask why...I think that I have become obsessed with the idea, to be frank. It is so wierd how someting so childish has just taken control of my day dreams and has become some kind of unattainable goal demands all of my attention. It's Mother/Daughter camp here at the ranch this weekend and there are plenty of little girls parading around as though they own the place and as though they are the most precious jewel in the world. It really is quite sweet. Really.
It gets my attention. What is it that makes me not believe the same thing? Is it failed relationships? Dashed dreams? Worldly advice? What exactly is it? And somehow I can't even seem to find that answer, let alone the time that I stopped believing that.
It is something so precious to know and believe that you are a princess.
For some reason we have stopped believeing that we are nothing better than what the world expects us to be. We have replaced our riches with rags and haven't noticed. We have put down our crowns and have donned the clothes of the pauper, and all for what? So that someone in this world will notice? So that we could fit in with the popular crowd?
I've done it...in fact I do it just about everyday, I step over my ballgown and glass slippers and put on a raggity old pair of jeans and stained t-shirt. When was the last time that I proclaimed the truth that I am a daughter of the king? When was the last time that you did it?
A friend of mine from high school (here's your plug Simon) wrote this incredibly amazing song that shook me to my core. Here is the chorus:

What if I did? What if I did?
Gave my whole life, let it all fly
Stepped before sight, and lost the whole world
Fell into real life, traded plastic for pearls


So what if I did? What if I traded my cheap plastic costume jewelry for pearls? What would that mean? How then would I live? Cos I'm pretty sure that life would be sweet. What is it that makes all of this so hard? Why do I have such a problem with this ball gown? It fits, it was made just for me. Hand tailored by the same man that paints the sunsets and waters the stars.
Now that I think on it, I don't think that it is the ballgown at all that bothers me, it is the ever-shrinking box in which I allow myself to dream that is the problem. And I don't want to live in this box anymore. I want the pearls more than my mind is ashamed to admit to that fact. I want to pull out that ballgown and show it off. I'm tired of hiding what I have and I'm frustrated with knowing all the right steps and choosing to be a wallflower. I want to dance out loud and, most importantly I want to be held in powerful and safe arms of my deepest love.
So come on girls, lets do it. But not just for one night- lets do it forever. Lets be the princesses we were meant to be. Lets put on those pearls and parade them around...I know that i want to....