Satisfied

Okay, so it has been a couple of days but things have been busy. Keep your shorts on, I didn't mean to abandon you I had things to do!! My throat hurts (good thing I am typing this), I lost my voice in a spontaneous attempt to conquer a carnival yesterday. I had fun, but I screamed so hard that now it hurts and I am nursing an upset stomach from the spinning monkey ride!!
Anyways...God has been so good. I haven't had much strength to do much but just sit with him because of the death of my friend, but He has been there in my silence and confusion and has given me hope and joy. My prayer is to be filled everyday with His joy and God is so faithful that I am confident that I will never be joyless again. He has given me so much hope that although I cry, I feel Him holding me and showing me that everything is alright.
God completely satisfies every inch of my soul. I am so satisfied by Him and His love that I no longer want for anything. (I mean there are things that I want, but they are worldly things and they no longer control my life as they once did.) I was talking with a friend about relationships and marriage and I was blown away with what God showed from that conversation. Although I joke about the boys I am going to marry, it no longer holds any value to me. I have no desire to look for a relationship and make one work. I'm sure that there is someone out there for me, but I have given up looking and searching because I have the love of God. I am His princess and He is everything I need. My favorite quote is from Mother Teresa she said, "You never know that Jesus is all you need, until Jesus is all you've got." How true that is. At one point in my life I had it all, I had a boyfriend, tons of friends, a great paying job and I was on my way to owning a car and having a license. I was on my way to total destruction too. Even though I had everything I wanted I had lost my connection with Jesus, I had put Him on the back burner. My days had become full of nothing but lip service to the Creator and I didn't even know it. One day my world crumbled, I lost my boyfriend, friends and my job. I had nothing, or so it seemed. But after many months of heartache and emptiness, now I walk with Jesus because He is truly all I need and through Him I have received the greatest life. Before now my mind was always full of the boy that I was crushing on and hopes of someday meeting "the one", but now I'm not centered on what could be. I'm centered on what is, and what is is the never failing love of God and the wholeness he brings me. I truly never thought that I would reach this place, oh how I will never doubt the possibilities of God again. He is the greatest gift I have received and nothing will take me away from Him.

This weeks song is "Lost in You" by drentch.


I need you like the
Desert needs the rain
I reach for you like a child wanting
To be wrapped in a fathers arms


I want to get lost in you
I'm on my knees praying to be close to you
Take me away Jesus I pray
I want to be where you are


I seek your face like the
Broken desperate for a meeting
I pray for peace like the nations
torn by war and earthy things


To your altar I come placing
my all before my first love
I cannot stand and not be moved
by the love that has found me