So it's the middle of March and I can only count the amount of Mini-eggs that I have eaten on one hand. Isn't that atrocious? ONE HAND. Here is my story...
As I was doing my errands this morning I had to run into Wal-Mart and find some liquid latex (of all things). Long story short--they didn't have any (sense any foreshadowing??) and I ended up getting lost in the Seasonal department. Upon remembering the lack of mini-egg goodness in my life lately, I decided that they would make a good breakfast, okay maybe not to a normal person who has just rolled outta bed, but a good breakfast was for someone who is pushing 24 hours without sleep and who's last meal was cold, flavorless, soggy chicken wings. So I went on a quest to find myself the LARGEST bag of the little suckers so that I would have a reason to brush my teeth before my journey to dream land. I wandered around the three aisles that they call the seasonal department and there was NONE to be found. I searched high, I searched low. I started moving things around to see if some anti-mini-egger was playing a cruel joke on those of us that annually depend on the little shards of heaven placed oh-so wonderfully in that perfect purple bag. Turns out that wasn't the case. Like a drug addict who can look and not touch, I paced back and forth and grew increasingly irritated. It was as though the mini-egg gods were mocking me as I was forced to walk past the box that contained bags and bags of the "popping mini-eggs". I'm sorry but I'm a purist, maybe even a snob, but no popping eggs will do. As a last effort I asked a sales lady and she said "Oh yes, they are over here." Full of hope I walked to another station that I hadn't even noticed and before I knew it she had placed in my hands----(yes, you guessed it!!!) a mesh bag of tinfoil wrapped generic chocolates. I was ready to rip her head off!!! "Here you go", she said. I told that these really weren't what I was looking for. She stared at me blankly and pointed out that they were egg-shaped and mini and then inquired as to what my problem was. I showed her a photo of what I was looking for. (It was on a neighboring box, I don't just keep one in my pocket incase you were wondering.) She then proceeded to show me every single kind of chocolate they had and NONE of them were packaged in that royal purple that I have come to love. Frustrated and dizzy I grabbed the first chocolates that I saw and made my way to the checkout. I had searched for at least half an hour and I was forced to buy some sub-standard Nestle product. On the way to the car, I ate said chocolate and I did not feel satisfied in the least, really it just gave me a tummy ache. Now I am sitting here with a stomachache that is in the way of me falling asleep. BAAAAAAAA HUMBUG!!
What a nightmare, ridiculous, absurd.
Next time I think that I will just stick to water.
Mini-eggs, come back to me. Why do you leave me so forlorn?
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